Tough Time

I know it's been a while since I posted anything, and I'd like to strategically work my way back in as to fill the holes and gaps, but right now I just have a heavy heart and need to get it off my chest.

I have made some wonderful friends this year. Ones that I would definitely consider into the family. Friends at church and in football. To some, that might seem like an obvious statement because of my outgoing & bubbly personality. In actuality, the older I get and the more life I experience, the more I have a very difficult time making friends. I have some very deep wounds that cause me to be standoffish when it comes to warming up to people. Most friendships end with me knowing MUCH about others, but them knowing VERY little about me. I always chalk it up to being a good listener, but the truth of the matter is, I don't want to reveal my life to others.

Anyways, that's neither here nor there. The point of this blog entry is to get some things off my chest. In July of this year, I had a dear friend kill himself. It was devastating. His 2 boys play football with my son and my heart was torn into a million shreds for them, as well as for their mom & his wife. As a result of that tragedy, the wife and I became VERY close. My kids and I used to spend MUCH time with them at their house. There was a very special and real friendship that blossomed between us rather quickly. I absolutely love and adore this friend! And her boys are just hysterical and we love spending time with them.

My heart broke again this year...on December 17th in fact....when I received some horrible news. My dear friend, the aforementioned friend, was arrested in her home on charges of murder from a cold case that dates back to 1995. Her husband and 3 other people are also suspects, but since her husband committed suicide 5 months ago, he can no longer be convicted. I will not mention details, 1) because I do not know them all and it's not my place to speak, 2) out of respect for the family and 3) because I don't need to poison people's minds with accusations that may be false. (she has plead not guilty).

Right now my heart is shattered into a million pieces for the sweet boys. Imagine being 15 & 16 years old and losing your father to suicide and 5 months later losing your mother for a crime she may or may not have committed with your father in 1995! Those poor boys. :( I am torn right now because I have conflicting emotions! As a child, I spent much of my childhood weekends visiting people in jail. My mom's boyfriends, by brothers, etc. I promised myself that I would never step foot in a prison again to visit and I would NEVER subject my kids to that ugliness, but I feel the need to go and visit my dear friend! Let her know that I love her and am cheering for her. Let her know that there is forgiveness available through the sacrifice of Christ. Do I break my promise to myself and go visit her despite my convictions? Am I being selfish in keeping away out of childhood trauma? I don't know. I cannot say any more. I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening cyber world!

Takin Care of Business

Hi Friends! Time to get caught up on the past week! It's been busy, but super wonderful!

Irvine Football has started up again, which keeps my pretty busy. This year I have a lot of responsibility which is perfectly fine because my school schedule is very light right now. I  purposely made it that way because I love football so much, I never want to miss it! ;) Anthony is playing both JV and Varsity this year, so I am going to 2-3 games a week if you count the Freshman games. Though, that's nothing new to me. When Anthony was a Freshman, Armand was both JV and Varsity, so I'm used to it! So, JV played on Friday in South Torrance and lost 21-3 which was a bummer, but they played their hearts out, so it was a great game to watch! Anthony played both OL & DL, so he was exhausted by the end of the game. Thank goodness Carrie Whitsell brought snax for them to eat on the bus ride home!

Saturday was the 1st Varsity game of the season and I am now in charge of coordinating the pre-game meals, so I was at the school from 1:00 til about 11:00pm. There are a select group of us moms and dads that devote our time and energy to the program and are willing to make sacrifices, even if it means we don't get to enjoy all the bells and whistles. The satisfaction on our boys' faces makes it all worth it. So, our 1st meal was tailgate style and we grilled burgers and sausages for the boys. It was a lot of work, but a lot of fun! Then we had family pictures, which I cannot wait to see! Sadly, Armand had to miss it though because of work. :(

I got a partial delivery of the football garb...aka spirit wear....that I get to rummage through this evening and sort them out according to orders taken. There are already 5 boxes full and that's only about 1/5 of everything. Pretty soon my living room and dining room will look like football vomited in my house! Love it! This year is a bit sad for me though because I need to find a replacement. It's been 5 years since I started running garb and it's like my baby. But, Anthony's gonna be a senior next year, so I want to find someone to shadow me this year so that I can give them the reigns and actually watch my boy play for his final season. So far, I've got no takers though. uh-oh...looks like I might just have to stay! ;)

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of 9/11. At church we had a short little memorial and I lost it. I haven't cried that hard in an really long time! Then, pastor mentioned that as a result of 9/11, my baby boy Armand was saved! I remember it so clearly. The 3 kids were downstairs watching Cartoon Network and I was in the boys' room watching the news footage from the attacks. I was sobbing not only at the realization of all the hurting people in the world who had lost loved ones, but at the realization of the thousands that had lost their lives without a chance to trust the Lord. Armand came upstairs and saw me crying and immediately tried to console me. He was rubbing my back and asking me what was wrong. I shared with him why I was so sad and we discussed what it meant to be a Christian. He asked Jesus into his life at that very moment. 9/11/01 will never be forgotten, but neither will 9/12/01.
After church I came home and crashed hard until 7:30 when Anthony came in and asked me for dinner! I'm guessing I needed the rest!

Today after school, I went and applied for Healthy Families and found out that I qualify! I am so excited because I can finally get Anthony back on his medication, Amythyst can get her teeth fixed and Armand can get new glasses!! Hoorayy! No insurance for me, but I'm totally okay with that. The kids are priority 1! So excited! God is good!!

Well, that's all I have time for right now. Catch you up later when I'm done takin care of business!

TTFN~kel

Enjoy the Silence

Well, today was back to school for Irvine High! So, I got up early to send my little munchkins off to their first day! Anthony as a Junior and Amythyst as a Freshman!

I have always been the one to protest back to school, kicking and screaming because I know that when school is in, I have to be the meanie mom and force them to do homework and get to bed early and so on and so on. Well, today was not like any other first day of school! I got up and got the kids to school and gave Armand the car so he could get to work and it suddenly dawned on me! I was home alone and had HOURS to be just me! WHAT?!?! That's impossible, or so I was beginning to believe! The first day of school instantly became my new best friend! Don't get me wrong, I love my babies and there is nothing in the world that could ever make me love being a mom any more or less than I do, but peace and quiet has become a precious commodity around this place!

Sooooo....here's what my day looked like: I moved all the furniture and vacuumed under it and sprayed for fleas (ick!), then I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned out the hallway closet, sorted out some clothes to give away, played around on facebook for a minute while enjoying some coffee and handled some football business and BAM! Just like that, the alone time was done! But it was the perfect amount of time for me!

Then I went to Irvine High School to sell some garb at the Freshman football game! Dang, can those boys play! Irvine beat South Torrance 44-6! It was very exciting! I sure hope that is an indicator as to what the season's gonna look like across the board! Tomorrow is the JV game and it's away. Thank goodness for teammates that are willing to carpool!

Amythyst had a great first day of high school, aside from getting LOST twice! OY! But she had a wonderfully chipper attitude when I picked her up and she is in her room doing homework right now! Anthony had a great day as well. They had the wings ceremony tonight for football! (that's when they put the stickers on their helmets) We had an amazing dinner and now, we're all chillin!

I hope tomorrow's a little bit cooler! Catch ya on the flip side!

Back to Reality

Well friends, this is it! Armand and I have been in school for a couple weeks now and it's been a slow transition. Armand and I have been sharing the car and it is working out just fine. I invested in a cheap little cruiser so that I can ride my bike to school on the days that he has to work early. I am taking 12.5 units and Armand is taking 8.5 units. Classes were hard to get into this semester because there is a massive influx of students since the universities are turning students away due to budget cuts. Two of Armand's professors are ones that I also had my 1st semester, so that is very exciting!

Amythyst and Anthony start back this Thursday!! I am normally not a fan of back to school season, but this year has me pumped! I'm ready for a steady schedule, even if it's busy, at least it will be consistent.

Football Season is upon us and I couldn't be happier!! Anthony will be playing both JV & Varsity this year, so he is very excited for those Friday Night Lights! He recently collided with a teammate and busted open his eye. He had to get 7 stitches, and now has a real pretty scar below his left eyebrow! Yay! Bragging rights! *sigh* He got Megan Brophy for his cheerleader and I just adore her! He will be a junior and is ready to take school seriously. I am hopeful that this will be a transitioning year and he will be able to make huge strides toward graduation.

Amythyst is ready to start High School! She has been working hard at who she wants to be. She has been experimenting with make-up and is doing a beautiful job. She also got Violet colored contacts! :O She has incorporated combat boots into her wardrobe this year and, I must admit, she looks adorable. We will be dying her hair black this evening. I am hopeful that she will find something of interest in high school. My biggest fear as a parent is not being able to prevent my kids from making the same poor choices I made. So far, so good, I just don't want this to be the year that everything falls apart. Wish me tons of luck and say lots of prayers....I need em!

Well, that's all for now! Talk soon!

TTFN~kel

He Got It!!

Hooorayyyy!!! Armand got the job!! He went for his interview and his boss already knew right away that he was gonna offer him the job! So so soooo proud!

2nd Interview

So, this afternoon my baby boy will have his 2nd job interview at Chick-fil-A! His 1st interview was sort of a panel interview! Call me crazy, but that's a whole heck of a lot more than I would have EVER guessed or expected from a fast food chain! I am so thrilled for my boy that he is getting this much exposure and experience just from one job prospect! GO ARMAND!

Last night I received the package I've been waiting for!! Armand and Meg's "Scenic" Senior Portraits!! Hoorayyy!! They all came out so beautifully! I created a Graduation Announcement and will be sending them out next month! Here is a sneak peek.....

Awwwwes....my handsome baby boy is growing up and getting all manly on me! I <3 you Armand!

Anthony's band auditioned for Irvine High School's benefits concert and guess whaaaat??? THE MADE IT!! Yayyyy!! They will be playing an 'Explosions in the Sky' song during intermission! I'm so proud!! Way to go Anthony....you sooooo ROCK!!

I've got a feeling that 2011 is going to be a GREAT year! We're already off to a wonderful start! Hooray for SPRING!! My favorite season! <3

Found a Precious Gem

I have found that as I get older, it gets harder and harder to make friends. If you don't have friends that you have been friends with for a lifetime, it becomes more and more difficult. I mean, I am a personable person and have many many acquaintances, but true friends are few and far between. I have 2 or 3..well no, maybe 1 or 2 people that I can pour my heart out to. Unfotrunately, 1 of the 2 is out of state. Once and a while, someone will come into your life that you know was hand delivered to your doorstep by God. That has happened to me this month. I have met a few women that I've been able to bond with, but one of them I had lunch with today and just know in my heart of hearts that I have found a precious gem of a friend! I can sense that we are going to be friends til the end! We will be BFF's til we die. Our stories are so similar it's frightening. We were finishing eachother's sentences, we wept and laughed and both kept getting goosebumps from God's presence! I can't wait to see what transpires! I just may have found my business partner, too!! Thank You Lord!